A Little Bit of Me

As I suspect everyone has, I battle self-doubt on a daily basis. Can I handle being promoted at work? Can I handle having a boyfriend for the first time in 5 years? Can I handle raising my daughter, working full time, and going back to college? Am I a good mother? A good friend? Am I annoying? Complacent? Irritable? How do others see me?  And a million other things. I doubt that I am worthy, of anything and everything. I doubt that I can raise a viable member of society that can think for herself, while I keep telling her not to argue with me. I doubt that I can make any man happy, much less happy enough to stay with me. I know I can physically make them happy, but regardless of what the stereotype says, not all men want only sex. And not all women are prudes.  But I still doubt that I can make anyone happy by just being me. Hell, I haven't "just been me" in so many years.....I've forgotten who "I" am. But it is slowly coming back.  On the flip s

Dating in my 30's.....This may take a while to explain My thoughts on dating in your 30s.....I am too damn old for high school games. Give me someone who can actually hold a conversation past the first few minutes,  past the niceties. Show me someone who goes against what society thinks and actually speaks their mind. (gasp!) Honesty and loyalty and trust are very scarce these days.  And I don't care what someone looks like. If we click, we click. Looks fade but personality is everything. I work full time plus help care for my ailing grandmother, and I have a 4 year old at home. So no, I don't have much time to date or hang out n chill. (Netflix n chill is not on my dating menu)  But when I make the effort of talking to someone and propose going for dinner or coffee or something, to see if we truly click in person, don't ghost on me. Ain't nobody got time for that! If you want me, tell me. And actually follow through on it! Don't play games to see ho

So it's been a while since my last post, and I've been thinking, a lot, about work ethic and jobs vs careers. So, here's my thoughts on all that. I currently work in customer service, and there are plenty of times when I wonder if I'm the only one I work with that has more than an ounce of work ethic. I mean, I can see what needs to be done and make time in my shift to actually get it done. But most people are smarter than I am....they can see what needs to be done, figure out how to do it half-assed, so they know that no one will ask them to do it again. If they do it wrong enough times, they know that no one will ask them to do it. They know that someone else will eventually break down and do it for them. We all know what needs to be done, and no one does it. When did it become normal to spend more time trying to figure out ways to get out of doing the work, instead of actually just going and doing the work? When did it become normal to pass the buck on things a

Let me start by saying, if anything I say here offends you, please kindly piss off! I do not care if I offend anyone. In fact, I'M  offended that everyone gets offended so easily! That being said, I do not set out with all certainty to offend anyone. Usually, it just happens. Something I say will offend someone, usually because it is the truth. So I say, Button Up, Buttercup! Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like an adult! Life is full of disappointments and if you haven't figured that out by the time you reach your teen years, you are sadly unprepared for adulthood! So, on to why I'm really writing today....People of my generation have no work ethic! And I am sick and tired of people complaining about having to actually do their jobs! *gasp* How dare someone expect you to do what you were hired (or promoted) to do?! That's just ludicrous! There have been plenty of times when I wish it was okay for me to tell people they are stupid and should just p

So, since I signed up for eHarmoney about a month ago on my sister's advice, I've had less than a few....prospects? Matches? Potential boyfriends? I'm not sure what to call them. Anyway, I've had a few matches and even less have progressed past the second stage, when we send each other the "Makes or Breaks", which is 10 things that Make or Break a chance with that person. I don't like to keep the same ones all the time, since there are so many to choose from and so many times my thoughts have changed on it. What may bother me one day may seem like nothing to get worked up about the next day, so I like to change it every once in a while. That's probably a typical "girl thing" to do, but hey, I'm a girl and it's about time I started acting like one. Or so my sister teases me about.  I don't go for looks or money or profession or anything else. I simply want someone I can talk to that isn't looking to add to the notches on his

I'm not sure that phrase works in Florida. Case in point: a recent experience my family had at the local Arby's restaurant.  This was a few weeks ago now, and my father, my Minion, and myself were out shopping and since it was close to lunch time and my Minion had been exceptionally well-behaved that day, we decided to reward her with Arby's. She loves the food and we don't get out to eat much, since taking my grandmother out in public usually ends in embarrassment.  So the three of us walk in and there's no one in the lobby. No customers. And no customers in the drive thru, as we had just walked past it to enter the building. The assistant manager was taking orders for the lobby, identified on her name tag as ASSISTANT MANAGER. I forget her name by now, but she was a cute little brunette. She took my father's order while my Minion and I took a detour to the bathroom. When we came back, my father asked if he was paying for us or if we were splitting it. I sa

This blog post is very personal to me. My youngest, who I call Minion, has a deadbeat dad.Or sperm donor, as I usually call him. Long story short, he begged me to have a baby with him, which was my first mistake - giving in to his begging. Then, when I was 2 months pregnant and we had just gotten confirmation of my due date, he decided that he was scared and didn't want her anymore, so he tried to beat her out of me. I fought back and he went to prison. I gave birth in September 2012, and a year later, I moved to Florida, to get away from him. He had been out on bail before the trial and wouldn't leave me alone, even though there was a no contact order. Once I knew he would be going to prison, I notified him of my intent to move and took my minion to Florida, where my family is. I needed the support system and he didn't even attempt to keep us in Wisconsin.  Fast forward to April 2016. The sperm donor has been out of prison and on parole since December. He kept contacting

So I had a reading the other day, and it was amazingly accurate. I'm amazed that it was so accurate, but at the same time, I'm not...because I'm not very hard to figure out, for the people I let close enough to see me.  Anyway, the complete reading is too long to really post here, but I'm going to post the link here anyway, since it is much easier to understand it when you can read the complete reading from start to finish, instead of me babbling about it. You can read at your leisure. :)  Anyway, here goes my reaction to my first reading since probably high school. The deck that was used was the Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle deck, which I hadn't seen before. The graphics and details of the pictures on the cards were fantastic and realistic, which I hadn't really thought about much until after the reading was complete. The pictures really matched what the cards were. The first card represents the Past - My Past. The Storykeeper was the card drawn, an

Now, I've never truly been in a "real" relationship where we went on dates and didn't move in right away or move things too fast. But I'm pretty sure I have a decent idea of what not to do while in one, seeing as I have plenty of experience in what doesn't work. Don't cheat.  Don't lie.  Don't pretend to be someone you're not just to make someone else happy.  Don't forget to tell the other person how you feel about them.  Take risks, but don't forget who you are in the process.  Don't change for someone else. Change to make yourself better, not because someone doesn't like your sense of humor or the clothes you wear or the music you like.  Compromise on the small things, but don't keep score. Don't do the "well, I cleaned the bathroom last time, so now you have to do it" or "I got up with the baby last night, now it's your turn".  Don't make the simple things into big things because y

So, it's been a while since I posted and a lot of things have happened. Which I'll get to, probably in a later post. However, one thing I wanted to chat about is dating and my thoughts on it.  Now, I haven't had much experience lately with dating, with so many things going on in my personal life. Between work and being a single mom, there hasn't been much time for the things I'd prefer to be doing, like meeting someone. But here are my random, as always, thoughts on dating in this day and age.  No one likes a clingy woman. And the ones who claim they do, are lying. The number one quality I pride myself on is being strong and perfectly fine with the idea of being alone. No one to answer to, no one to argue with over whether the toilet paper should be over or under. Hell, most of the time, I'm just happy there's a roll there when I need it! True, there are times when I have my moments and wish I could find my "prince" but rationally, I know