Random Thoughts, on Dating, People, and My Lack of A Dating Life
So, it's been a while since I posted and a lot of things have happened. Which I'll get to, probably in a later post. However, one thing I wanted to chat about is dating and my thoughts on it.
Now, I haven't had much experience lately with dating, with so many things going on in my personal life. Between work and being a single mom, there hasn't been much time for the things I'd prefer to be doing, like meeting someone. But here are my random, as always, thoughts on dating in this day and age.
No one likes a clingy woman. And the ones who claim they do, are lying. The number one quality I pride myself on is being strong and perfectly fine with the idea of being alone. No one to answer to, no one to argue with over whether the toilet paper should be over or under. Hell, most of the time, I'm just happy there's a roll there when I need it!
True, there are times when I have my moments and wish I could find my "prince" but rationally, I know he doesn't exist. And if he truly does, then he's probably stuck in a tree somewhere because he's too stubborn to ask for directions.
Everyone settles. Whether they admit it or not. Everyone has their ideal of who they would like to be with, whether that ideal is a model who's so skinny she'd be lost behind a 2x4, or a man who works too much just so you have endless money to spend on frivolous, useless material things. But in reality, your ideal person only exists in your mind and rarely in the real world.
So you have to be open and honest and really believe. What can I deal with and what is a deal breaker? Can I deal with listening to him snore like a freight train for the rest of my life? Can I handle her being a lunatic about makeup and clothes and spending money on things she'll never use or wear, even though she still takes 3 hours to get ready to go ANYWHERE together?
And then come the questions that are not so easy to answer, if you're unsure of what you want or just want "someone" in your life, instead of someone of quality.
Can I hold a conversation with this person, beyond sex and food and the simple topics? Find someone you can discuss politics with. Or religion. Ask yourself, "Are we able to discuss our differences or does the sound of her voice make me want to gouge out my eardrums?".
Whether I admit it freely or not, I have settled plenty. More than I should have. And I do regret it, sometimes. Mainly because it negatively changed me. As a result of poor upbringing (which will also be discussed later and was discussed on my other blog that I have since forgotten the password to), I have settled too much. I have been beaten down and scarred, only to wonder what was wrong with ME. After too many years, I have realized that, while everyone settles, there comes a point where "settling" and "damaging" become one and the same.
I've had enough damage dealt to me, and I'm sure if you were to ask, I've probably dealt some damage right back. But no more!
I will continue to bust my ass at work and show them that I know my job and that I am an asset and a value to the company.
For my personal life? Well, I don't want no scrubs! If you aren't working a steady job (I don't care if it's minimum wage or $10k a day), stay away from me. Not because I want your money, but I don't want some lazy ass who mooches off me and my work ethic. If you're capable of working, there are plenty of jobs that need to be filled, even unpleasant jobs. I know no one truly sets out to clean Port a Johns for a living when they're in high school, but hey, someone's gotta do it!
If you don't understand that my daughter comes first in every way, then stay away. Yes, I will make time for the right person. But, if you get upset because I choose to stay home to be able to put my daughter to bed at night instead of being out at the bars with you and your crew, then stay the hell away from me. I did my share of partying in my 20s and as a result, I learned that it is much cheaper to drink at home.
If you don't like the hours I work and assume I will change everything around just to make you happy, because you demand it, stay away from me. I work when I work and sometimes that includes working a double shift or going in early or to a different location. But, I bust my ass to take care of things, and I do the best I can with what I have.
If you're happy with one night a week, maybe even less, then man up and tell me. If you want a woman who will love, listen, cook, and work her hardest every damn day, then come on and tell me.
Divorce is not an option for me. If you're mad, go sit your ass down in the other room til you calm the fuxk down and we can talk later. We might go to bed mad, because frankly, we might be tired as fuxk and just don't feel like hashing it all out at 2 am. Fine. But we will finish it later.
I give my all from day one and it is up to you to either man up, put on your man panties and be worthy of all I have to give....Or acknowledge that you are unworthy and step aside. I have lived far too long to play childish games. If you want me, come and claim me. Be assertive. Be confident. Be a dick, even. But just know that my love is complete and honest. I am not the type to drop hints. If I want something, I will ask for it. It might take me a moment to get over my shyness (my true friends can stop laughing at any time....) and actually spit it out, but I'll get there eventually. If you don't like the way I make meatloaf, tell me. Don't tell me it tastes good when you hate it. Be honest. Honesty never hurt anyone or anything.
That is probably my biggest issue.....Believing that others will give as much as I do. I've always been the one who gives more, and more often. I give my all from day one and that is usually way too intense for most people. And the ones who claim to enjoy it or want it, are fake as fuxk. Eventually, the novelty of who I am wears off and they realize that I'm not lying. I am as intense a lover on day 3000 as I was on day 2. Yes, I fall hard and fast and that ends up hurting. But life hurts. There's no way around that. It hurts.
If you can't handle the pain, get the fuxk out of the kitchen and go back to your knitting and watching Dr. Phil, accepting that mundane and irrelevant lead your life. To quote a recent friend, who I hope doesn't mind that I'm stealing this line, go outside and play hide and go fuxk yourself, no one likes you. And more importantly, I don't like you. I'm done settling for things that bring me down further than I have ever been.
Yes, rejection hurts. But what hurts more is the thought of missing out on a good time with someone. I'm not looking for forever. Not right now. I'm looking for someone who I can have fun with, maybe go out a few times and expand my horizons. If it happens that I fall for someone, then so be it. I hope it works out. But in reality, I know in the back of my mind that "the one" for me happened a long time ago and the chance at happily ever after no longer exists.
I am a flirty and sarcastic woman, who is perfectly happy spending time at home with my kid or going out with someone. I am a happy woman, who enjoys flirting with people as part of my job working in customer service. In general, I dislike most people. There are a few who I like and trust enough to let behind the wall and give them a peak at my true self. It's not that I hide myself from people. I just don't put my inner demons on blast in front of everyone. I'm a complicated person, but I guarantee, if you make the time to try with me.....you won't regret it. I'll either be your best friend or your greatest memory. The choice is yours. I have learned from my past and am no longer into playing games.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a look into my random and crazy mind.
Now, I haven't had much experience lately with dating, with so many things going on in my personal life. Between work and being a single mom, there hasn't been much time for the things I'd prefer to be doing, like meeting someone. But here are my random, as always, thoughts on dating in this day and age.
No one likes a clingy woman. And the ones who claim they do, are lying. The number one quality I pride myself on is being strong and perfectly fine with the idea of being alone. No one to answer to, no one to argue with over whether the toilet paper should be over or under. Hell, most of the time, I'm just happy there's a roll there when I need it!
True, there are times when I have my moments and wish I could find my "prince" but rationally, I know he doesn't exist. And if he truly does, then he's probably stuck in a tree somewhere because he's too stubborn to ask for directions.
Everyone settles. Whether they admit it or not. Everyone has their ideal of who they would like to be with, whether that ideal is a model who's so skinny she'd be lost behind a 2x4, or a man who works too much just so you have endless money to spend on frivolous, useless material things. But in reality, your ideal person only exists in your mind and rarely in the real world.
So you have to be open and honest and really believe. What can I deal with and what is a deal breaker? Can I deal with listening to him snore like a freight train for the rest of my life? Can I handle her being a lunatic about makeup and clothes and spending money on things she'll never use or wear, even though she still takes 3 hours to get ready to go ANYWHERE together?
And then come the questions that are not so easy to answer, if you're unsure of what you want or just want "someone" in your life, instead of someone of quality.
Can I hold a conversation with this person, beyond sex and food and the simple topics? Find someone you can discuss politics with. Or religion. Ask yourself, "Are we able to discuss our differences or does the sound of her voice make me want to gouge out my eardrums?".
Whether I admit it freely or not, I have settled plenty. More than I should have. And I do regret it, sometimes. Mainly because it negatively changed me. As a result of poor upbringing (which will also be discussed later and was discussed on my other blog that I have since forgotten the password to), I have settled too much. I have been beaten down and scarred, only to wonder what was wrong with ME. After too many years, I have realized that, while everyone settles, there comes a point where "settling" and "damaging" become one and the same.
I've had enough damage dealt to me, and I'm sure if you were to ask, I've probably dealt some damage right back. But no more!
I will continue to bust my ass at work and show them that I know my job and that I am an asset and a value to the company.
For my personal life? Well, I don't want no scrubs! If you aren't working a steady job (I don't care if it's minimum wage or $10k a day), stay away from me. Not because I want your money, but I don't want some lazy ass who mooches off me and my work ethic. If you're capable of working, there are plenty of jobs that need to be filled, even unpleasant jobs. I know no one truly sets out to clean Port a Johns for a living when they're in high school, but hey, someone's gotta do it!
If you don't understand that my daughter comes first in every way, then stay away. Yes, I will make time for the right person. But, if you get upset because I choose to stay home to be able to put my daughter to bed at night instead of being out at the bars with you and your crew, then stay the hell away from me. I did my share of partying in my 20s and as a result, I learned that it is much cheaper to drink at home.
If you don't like the hours I work and assume I will change everything around just to make you happy, because you demand it, stay away from me. I work when I work and sometimes that includes working a double shift or going in early or to a different location. But, I bust my ass to take care of things, and I do the best I can with what I have.
If you're happy with one night a week, maybe even less, then man up and tell me. If you want a woman who will love, listen, cook, and work her hardest every damn day, then come on and tell me.
Divorce is not an option for me. If you're mad, go sit your ass down in the other room til you calm the fuxk down and we can talk later. We might go to bed mad, because frankly, we might be tired as fuxk and just don't feel like hashing it all out at 2 am. Fine. But we will finish it later.
I give my all from day one and it is up to you to either man up, put on your man panties and be worthy of all I have to give....Or acknowledge that you are unworthy and step aside. I have lived far too long to play childish games. If you want me, come and claim me. Be assertive. Be confident. Be a dick, even. But just know that my love is complete and honest. I am not the type to drop hints. If I want something, I will ask for it. It might take me a moment to get over my shyness (my true friends can stop laughing at any time....) and actually spit it out, but I'll get there eventually. If you don't like the way I make meatloaf, tell me. Don't tell me it tastes good when you hate it. Be honest. Honesty never hurt anyone or anything.
That is probably my biggest issue.....Believing that others will give as much as I do. I've always been the one who gives more, and more often. I give my all from day one and that is usually way too intense for most people. And the ones who claim to enjoy it or want it, are fake as fuxk. Eventually, the novelty of who I am wears off and they realize that I'm not lying. I am as intense a lover on day 3000 as I was on day 2. Yes, I fall hard and fast and that ends up hurting. But life hurts. There's no way around that. It hurts.
If you can't handle the pain, get the fuxk out of the kitchen and go back to your knitting and watching Dr. Phil, accepting that mundane and irrelevant lead your life. To quote a recent friend, who I hope doesn't mind that I'm stealing this line, go outside and play hide and go fuxk yourself, no one likes you. And more importantly, I don't like you. I'm done settling for things that bring me down further than I have ever been.
Yes, rejection hurts. But what hurts more is the thought of missing out on a good time with someone. I'm not looking for forever. Not right now. I'm looking for someone who I can have fun with, maybe go out a few times and expand my horizons. If it happens that I fall for someone, then so be it. I hope it works out. But in reality, I know in the back of my mind that "the one" for me happened a long time ago and the chance at happily ever after no longer exists.
I am a flirty and sarcastic woman, who is perfectly happy spending time at home with my kid or going out with someone. I am a happy woman, who enjoys flirting with people as part of my job working in customer service. In general, I dislike most people. There are a few who I like and trust enough to let behind the wall and give them a peak at my true self. It's not that I hide myself from people. I just don't put my inner demons on blast in front of everyone. I'm a complicated person, but I guarantee, if you make the time to try with me.....you won't regret it. I'll either be your best friend or your greatest memory. The choice is yours. I have learned from my past and am no longer into playing games.
Hard core truth from someone who knows too well the sting of relationships. I hope love finds you soon.
ReplyDelete